The Foolish Digger

As any engaged couple should, Corrie and I felt that we should attend marriage counseling prior to us getting married in October. I had pretty much already guessed at what questions our Pastor would ask us, and had sort of prepared myself mentally for what we were going to talk about. I remember sitting in the office when Pastor Dave turned to me and said “Describe your relationship with Jesus Christ”. For some reason the question caught me off guard. Immediately my mind raced to figure out what point he was trying to make or how he was trying to steer the conversation. What was the right answer? What was he getting at? The answers sprung out in my mind. If my relationship was good with Jesus, then my relationship would be good with my wife. Dizzied by the thoughts going around in my head, I asked if I could think about it, and then respond after Corrie did. They of course agreed, and Corrie started talking about her relationship with Jesus.

During this moment my mind flash back to a random scene from my adolescence of being at the beach. I remember being with a friend and playing in the sand and noticing an old man walking down the beach with a metal detector. I observed him stopping occasionally to dig into the sand a little bit before continuing on his way. As he got closer, I had a great idea! Wouldn’t it be funny if I went ahead of him a ways and buried some coins just below the surface so that he would stop and dig them up with excitement as we watched from our seats? Now I recognize this was sort of a cruel trick, but none-the-less, at the time I found the idea hilarious. So I casually began making my way a little ways past where he was, chose my moment, and buried the coins in the sand. I returned to my seat to watch the show. As we waited in suspense, the man finally made his way to the spot where I had buried the coins. To our delight, as the metal detector hovered near the sand, the man’s facial expression changed and he set the device down in order to begin digging…

Now why was this random act of childhood adolescence flooding my mind, some 15+ years later? And how did this relate to my walk with Jesus?

I realized in that moment, that my relationship with Jesus was a lot like the man with a metal detector.

Throughout my life, I had always had an inventors spirit in me. When I was a child, I would try to mix different combinations of shampoo, conditioners and soap while in the bath, convinced that I would discover some magical cleaning formula. I also once invented a trap to try and catch the Easter Bunny.

I always loved finding and discovering things before others around me did. Whenever we had a new vehicle, I’d always be the first to go through the car and find all the new features and hidden compartments. In school, I always preferred trying to solve math problems on my own before listening to the teacher or reading the textbook.

My walk with Jesus was just like this. All the pieces have always been there, but when I discovered something for myself, I owned it. The crazy thing about this was that, in my life I could see God walking ahead of me burying coins in the sand so that I would dig them up with excitement. When I dug them up, I didn’t find a treasure chest of gold, but rather I found just enough coins and treasure to keep the excitement alive for the next dig.

God knows us better than we know ourselves, because he created us. He won’t give us more than He knows we are ready for…and He will always bury the coins in front of us, even when we aren’t looking.

-Kyle

What’s the Point of Worship? | Relevant Magazine

Check out this article: http://www.relevantmagazine.com/god/worship/features/25684-whats-the-point-of-worship?start=1

Why not to wear deodorant…(8-26-11)

FRIDAY, AUGUST 26, 2011

Why maybe you shouldn’t buy deodorant…

As I starting thinking about an upcoming Anti-Povery Summit, that I was asked to lead worship for, I had a moment when I was able to articulate a thought I had been trying to form for a couple weeks. I was arbitrarily thinking about what songs I was doing for the summit, when I thought of the song, All I Need is You by the Hillsong. Just as the title of the song forewarns, the chorus of the songs says”All I Need is You Lord”As I was thinking about how this song weaves into the theme of Anti-poverty, I started thinking about the want/vs need dillemna. Do I really believe that God is all I need? Do we believe that? And the easy church answer is to say, of course God is all we need, but I think for many of us, it depends what you put into the category of need.

We’ve all asked ourselves the “Do I want or need this? question before, and we’d like to hope it’s every time we think about buying something. But I think in reality, we only pull it out for a select category of items, if ever. I think we don’t ever pull it out because we’ve figured out a way around the guilt, and generally around the question, by inventing a new category. That new category is like the one closet or room in our house where we continually pile more and more things into it, trying to make it fit. Or if you’re a guy, it’s like trying to see how much trash you can force into the trash can to avoid having to be the one who takes it out.  The third category we’ve invented is……drum role….”Entitlement”. The dangerous vine that wraps itself around our lives, blocking out the sun. It has a twin brother that is interchangeably used called “Consensus and Support” or more commonly: “It’s okay because everyone else does it”

You see, when we know things don’t fit into our NEED closet, and we’re told to clean out the WANT closet, things get shoved into this “Entitlement” closet. Inside this closet gets put all the things, that we think we deserve or things that are acceptable to desire. Attached to each one of these entitlement items is a long list of justifications we’ve created on why we are entitiled to this.

Let me give you some examples of what our society tends to put in this entitlement closet. Family Vacations, Honeymoon Vacations, new  automobiles, new clothes, new laptops, new tvs, jewelery, eating out at restaurants, cell phones, cable tv, high speed internet, expensive weddings…or what about light bulbs, pens, school supplies, fabric softener, paper…  and the list goes on and on and on. It’s crazy how many things we are able to fit on this list, how many things we feel entitled to and won’t even give a second thought too when it comes time to purchase them.

We get to a place where we create webs of justification. Since my upcoming wedding is fresh on my mind, let’s talk about weddings in general. According to “The Knot,” the average cost of a wedding in the U.S is $27,800. Other studies show similar results with most averages coming to between 25k-30k. That figure blows my mind. If that number was even half that cost, it would still blow my mind…and I think so many have justified it by taking it out of the want category and into the entitlement closet. | Justifications: That’s just what weddings cost these day…I don’t want people to think we are cheap…my parents are paying for it…ect

Let’s bring it down to a smaller scale. Deodorant…haha, but really. Do we need deodorant to survive? no. Do we consider it something we want or desire? Not really. Rather we accept it as the norm for our society and as something we are entitled too. Justifications: If i dont wear deodorant, I will smell and people will not want to be around me… It’s only like 2-3$ for like a month…I am expected to wear deodorant… That’s a tough one isn’t it? Would you really be able to give up deodorant and find a better use for that 2-3$. Would you do it? I don’t know if I could, because I would tell myself, it’s just something I am suppose to buy and its not that expensive….but obviously that’s the point. There’s so much we think we are entitled to, and we don’t even give it a second thought and it’s dangerous…very dangerous.

If we never challenge ourselves on the little things, we will never challenge ourselves on the bigger things, and that’s not to say that the little things are any less important than the big things.

What do we need? What do we really need? What do I feel I’m entitled too?

Please struggle with this question with me, because if we don’t then our world will continue to be a world of doing things because they are the norm for our society, not because they are right or biblical.

FYI: Total worldwide deodorant sales are projected to have been over 10.5 billion $$ in 2010. Think about what that means…

As believers, we are entitled to eternal life with our heavenly Father, period. end of story. I think there is nothing else we are entitled to! The Bible says, God will provide what we need when we trust in him. When we trust in ourselves, and pretend to trust in God, we will find ourselves in the same place we are at now.

-Kyle

Wanting More…

Turning 23 this year scared me. It came a lot more quickly than I thought it would. It scares because I think 24 is going to come faster. I’m scared to wake up in a year, 3, 10, or even 50 and say…where did my life go? I probably think about it every day now. In May, I will be a whole year out of college. A year, that flew by faster than I had ever imagined. Highschool to College felt like there was momentum building up in the background, waiting to erupt into a beautiful symphony, and then you get out of college, and you’re confused. I just spent 16 + years of my life in school, so I can sit in front of a computer 40 hours a week and make more money? Now, I’m not writing off schooling, because I know I most likely would never even be having these thoughts or especially the ability to write them if I hadn’t spent all that time in school…..but it all leads me to this question:

What is life supposed to look like?? 


Is this what life is? Go to College, Get a Job, Find a Wife, Settle into a area that’s good for raising children and close enough to work, Have Children, bring them to church, work your way up the career ladder til you find a job you like, Save for Retirement, Retire, The End. As a Christian does it mean do it all while loving God and trying to do good things? That’s the life our parents were told to live, that’s the lives we are told to live, and for all I know maybe that simply, is the life I am supposed to live….. because if it’s not than the next question is way more dangerous and scary…..

What’s the alternative?

I don’t know. I really don’t consider myself a deep, deep person. I just want to be intentional about the destination I’m heading for.

So let’s strip away the outer layers:

Getting married and having children is not the culprit, (it’s God’s design and part of His plan to make us whole)

College and education is a great privilege that has prepared me to do things I simply could not have done without it.

I believe having a job is giving me the resources to do things I would not be able to, as well as refine skills that I will need later on…

So what’s the problem here??? Retirement? (thats a whole separate discussion)

No, I think the problem here is mindset, attitude, and most importantly focus.

The problem is that society says to do all those things for ourselves and our own prosperity. The westernized church says to do all of those things, but do it while loving people and God and if you get the chance tell someone about Jesus…Our focus is not the pursuit of the Kingdom of Heaven. 

Church, Religion, Christianity, Belief, whatever you want to call it or not call it, has been adapted to the lifestyle we understand and our comfortable with. It’s a way of living a version of the above lifestyle. For the majority of us,  the focus hasn’t shifted for us as Christians, we just add Christianity to our lifestyle like cream and sugar in coffee. I strongly believe our focus has to shift! There’s no mixing and blending in the Bible. We can’t dilute the power of the Gospel by being a half-hearted, stagnant Christian.

Sometimes I feel like I’m searching for this hidden path in a forest. A secret trail that’s going take me to this amazing place. And sometimes I feel like I’m one of the few people who are seeking it.

Maybe the only thing that matters out of everything I’ve said is simply this: I believe God has called me for big things, and that’s something I am extremely proud to boast about. Not things of fame, wealth, power, recognition, legacy, or success……………..but BIG things in the name of his Kingdom. And I am so ready to get going, before any more time goes by.

FOCUS SMALL, THINK BIG, ACT BIGGER

Jesus spent his life with a focus on teaching twelve men. Those twelve men would be some of the most influential men of human history. I believe this is one of the best models of leadership Jesus gives us, and a great framework for making disciples. Jesus found 12 men who were willing to truly abandon themselves for His sake. The church is God’s design for community in our lives, but I’ve observed so many Christians abandoning the radical calling of Jesus and trading it in for a Christian adaptation of the American Dream and the church seems to have been silently re-defined as a cluster of those who show up to a building 1-3 days a week, with mixed motives. I’ve witnessed too many people, myself included, who have managed to at one time or another to hide behind the church front they put up, and slide under the radar of any true conviction to live like Jesus. How, you might ask could something like this have happened? How did we build a system of people who  could successfully navigate the church world without ever truly losing themselves to find Him, and let that become an acceptable lifestyle? This is not at all to say this type of person never felt convicted or experienced God. It’s to say that living a life characterized by a mediocre faith, by a Christian version of the American dream, and by less than radical abandonment to Jesus became the accepted norm. People look at others, for how to live their lives, because apart from the Bible…We don’t really have a clue. New Christ-followers, look to old Christ followers, Peers look to peers, the young look to the old, and the masses fall into place behind reckless influence-rs.

David Platt writes, “If the radical, simple living we see Jesus talking about were more common in the church it would be much easier for us to live simply as well. But we look around, and everyone else has nice cars, nice homes, and lifestyles characterized by luxuries, so we accept that this must be the norm for Christians. We may get convicted about our way of living when we look at the Bible, but then when we look at one another, we assume it must be okay because everyone else lives this way.”

Consider how much our lives have been influenced by those around us. As humans we have a tendency to seek out the approval of those who are important in our lives. We tend to adapt ourselves to better fit into a group of people, and we tend to accept the compromising lifestyle of a few as an acceptable model for our own lives, and the reality is..it all comes down to a few leaders. Thinking back, every social group or friend cluster I’ve been a part of has had unpronounced leaders or trend setters, and I’ve come to this dramatic conclusion: I am, or have been one, and I have continually fallen short in understanding the  power of that, and the weight of my responsibility. I love the line from John Legend’s song “If you’re out there,” where he sings “Oh, I was looking for a song to sing, looking for a leader, but the leader was me.” I think so many people are looking for a leader, but the reality is we have to be that leader. Stop chasing after social acceptance, stop waiting for the metaphoric 2 by 4 to the head,  or for ‘some other time’ in your life to decide to give yourself fully to God. There is a urgency in the Gospel and a urgency in this hour of human history. Join the battle or get out of the way. There’s no time for half-hearted Christians, young or old, and God clearly says this in the Bible, there is no middle ground. Very black and white. You are either for me or against me. Here’s your choice: store your treasures on earth and indulge yourself in self catering practices…Or, adopt the radical calling of Jesus Christ, and lose yourself to find yourself in Him. Purposely use the blessings you’ve been given for the intention for which they were given to you, which is consequentially not for you.

Why is this happening?

Why? Because it is the safe and comfortable way to be a Christian. Where as the Bible clearly outlines what it means to truly follow Jesus, and it’s not easy or pretty. It’s certainly not safe and comfortable and it comes at a higher cost than many are ready to accept. Believing in Jesus Christ and truly loving Him means that you must be willing to give it all up for His sake. It means losing your security, identity, and worldly ideas, to find a new identity in Christ…and most importantly..really living it out. I think a large amount of Christians either choose to ignore these ideas, makes excuses or twist their lifestyles to make it seem like they are living out these ideas, or are waiting for the next part of their life to begin before they can start living these ideas. The call to start truly following Jesus cannot be put on hold.

Focus small, think Big, Act Bigger

Focus on finding and devoting your time to a group of people who are committed to living radically like Jesus. As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. Constantly remind yourself  that God could very well choose today to be your last here on earth, and understand the urgency of the gospel.

Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. Matthew 10:39

Thanks for listening,
Kyle
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A lot of what I discussed above has been a reflection of a book I recently finished by David Platt, called Radical: Taking Back Faith from the American Dream. I strongly urge you to read it and join me in taking part in the Radical Experiment. It has drastically changed my way of thinking and it’s challenges are key to bringing back the church to Christ.

Disclaimer: Do not read this book, if you’re desperately trying to hold up the walls of your own comfort and security in the lifestyle you are leading. This book may cause drastic changes in your life, and you might be unable to turn back.

Also check out Donald Miller’s “A Million Miles in a Thousand Years”

DEATH IN HIS GRAVE

FRIDAY, AUGUST 20, 2010

Death in His Grave

John Mark Mcmillan’s song “Death in His Grave.”I was trying to figure out what about this video I liked so much. John Mark Mcmillan has been one of my favorite artists for a long time, because there is something unique about the way he writes songs. I often feel like so much of Christian music/worship music is written to fit into our modern day churches. Many mainstream artists/worship leaders write songs within the boundaries of what’s accepted, able to speak to the Lowest Common Denominator of people. This can be both a good thing and a bad thing. These boundaries tend to reinforce the same types of language, rhythmic and expressive patterns, and hooks. The problem with these boundaries is that because so many songs are created within the same boundaries, using the same language over and over again, the language loses its flavor. It becomes so dry, non-pungent.

Language about God and for God is so hard to create because of how little we understand about God, yet when we encounter intimacy with God, God speaks to us through our own unique life experience, our own story. Christian buzz words/phrases like the ‘Beauty of God’ or ‘God’s Glory’, often tend to fly right past our hearts and evaporate in the air, because they are heard and spoken so much making us numb to the weight of their meaning.

I like John Mark McMillan because his songs bring out his own authentic conversations with God.There’s a honesty and openness to say what he’s feeling even though sometimes it’s anger and confusion.  There’s a brokenness in his persona that evokes a raw authentic passion. People need that kind of passion, people follow that kind of passion.

The second thing about this song that encapsulates me, is not so much in the song but in the context of the video. It’s the intimacy of the setting. The room is flooded by such a passionate desperation for Jesus that it makes me want to drop whatever I am doing and be in that place. It causes me to remember some of the most sincere intense worship experiences I’ve have and start to wonder why they have become so sporadic in my life. It makes me remember how much I want more worship experiences like the one in this video, in my life, and it make me wonder why so few churches can create that.

Maybe there’s something about the small intimate setting that can set the tone for real authentic worship that can’t exist in larger venues. Maybe ‘corporate worship’ should look more friends gathered together in a basement and less like a rock show. Creating that setting must come down to having people who aren’t afraid to be vulnerable and open to God. People who are really set on fire for what God is doing, rather than just playing their role in doing the couple ‘church things’ that are convenient for them. In college I led worship for a weekly worship experience called, “Powerhouse”. Every Thursday night we would gather in this small chapel for an hour of worship and prayer. Many weeks the place was packed out, with people standing in the aisles and even standing a few feet in front of us. Other weeks there were fewer. I think the pinnacle of my ministry their was done from my Sophomore and Junior year. I can still remember select nights where I was so overwhelmed by the Spirit of the Lord that after we finished the last song I just had to leave the building and be alone with God, leaving my guitar behind. Other weeks I was so consumed that I had to lie down on the ground and just close my eyes for awhile. I poured out so much of myself in to that worship. Towards the end of my Junior year and through the beginning of my Senior year, the energy that once drove me into this intimacy, began to fade some weeks. It didn’t always overwhelm me like it once had. I think at some point the established order of my role as a worship leader and the ‘this is what I do’ mentality  began to take tear away at the energy that once empowered me and when my study and prayer life began to get lost in the Senior year phenomena, I got lost.

For me, this video makes me long for those truly intimate settings with God, where nothing could keep us from worshiping with all our hearts, and we would do it until our voices gave out and our fingers stung, and then some.

Thanks John.

-K